Grieving LossesGRIEVING We want our children to feel safe and emotionally secure enough to show their tears. We want them to grieve their losses freely. Many of us, especially men, were scolded and shamed for showing tears as children. We were told, "Big boys don't cry." While we experienced countless losses and disappointments, we received no support for dealing with them. We became emotionally stiff and brittle from our years of repressed grief. Whenever our sorrow was too huge to repress, we turned it to rage or depression - usually with the help of chemicals.As we began uncovering our repressed emotions, we opened up years of unmourned sorrow. We cried more in the first months of therapy than in most of our previous life. Although this grieving process has been uncomfortable and emotionally draining, it has resulted in new emotional vitality. Our long-buried sense of humor along with genuine spontaneity and our capacity to feel the whole range of human emotions are returning. We encourage our children to feel and express their losses, even when it's upsetting to deal with their tears. We listen to our young children's disappointment when they lose a game or get their feelings hurt. We support our teenager's heartache when they break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. We all mourn together when one of our pets dies. We are now more comfortable letting our children see us express our grief.When I grieve my own losses, I can support my children as they grieve theirs.Click here to listen to this meditation. This excerpt is from Daily Meditations for Parenting Our Kids by Thomas Wright. Click below for more information. Back To Meditations
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