OVER-RESPONSIBLEOVER-RESPONSIBLE Most of us learned to be in control during childhood when doing so was essential to our survival. Living with so much chaos in our families, we did everything we could to maintain some control in our lives. When we became parents, we continued this attitude and behavior because we didn't know any other way to be. In fact, it felt perfectly natural and appropriate to be in control, because, after all, we were parents. In our controlling, however, we took on too much responsibility for our children's behavior. That meant they took too little. The more we did for them, the less they did for themselves. Our over-involvement led to their under-involvement. We pampered and rescued when we should have stepped back and allowed them to discover their own solutions and thereby enhancing their self-confidence. Twelve step programs taught us the perils of trying to control others. It took us a long time however, to recognize that the first step, admitting we are powerless, could be applied to parenting. First we learned that be controlling adults we were causing ourselves serious relationship difficulties, anxiety and personal distress. Later we gradually realized that our controlling interfered with our children's development. Now we are learning humility as it applies to raising children. As we're learning to step back, they are taking on more self responsibility. And, we are experiencing more serenity. I can step back when I am tempted to step in and control my children.Click here to listen to this meditation.
This excerpt is from Daily Meditations for Parenting Our Kids by Thomas Wright. Click below for more information. Back To Meditations
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