PROVOCATION
PROVOCATION When we feel provoked by our children, we immediately think we must be doing something wrong. Or, we think they are. How could our children, who are sweet and happy most of the time, turn irritable, provocative and crabby for no apparent reason? When our children are crabby, they pester and tease one another and usually end up in tearful fights. That drives us crazy and we end up being part of the problem, rather than offering a solution. Things rarely improves when we intervene to stop their fights. Getting angry at them when they provoke one another only makes things worse. We try not to lose patience with them, but that isn't always easy. We get so irritated with their behavior that we want to scream, scold them, shake them, or send them to their rooms. When we reach this point, it's time to stop and listen. If we listen to what they are really trying to express, we may be able to understand what is behind their annoying behavior. In recovery, we are learning to ask our children about their feelings when they are upset. When we know what's upsetting them, we can try to suggest some possibilities, without putting words in their mouths. We can teach them how to talk about being afraid and feeling sad or angry as an alternative to picking fights or throwing toys. Today I will patiently and carefully observe my child's annoying behavior and strive to recognize the unmet needs they are trying to express.Click here to listen to this meditation.
This excerpt is from Daily Meditations for Parenting Our Kids by Thomas Wright. Click below for more information. Back To Meditations
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