STANDING UP FOR THEMSELVES

TRUSTING YOURSELF

We want our children to stand up for themselves and have enough confidence so they won’t be overly dependent on the opinions of others. We want them to be able to validate themselves and their own judgments. We want them to be able to hold their own when others question their motives and opinions. Many of us lacked this self-confidence in our childhood and pre-recovery days. When others questioned us, we immediately felt stupid, self-conscious, and eager to adopt their point of view, even when their point of view was critical of us. We easily abandoned ourselves in arguments.

We have come a long way in overcoming our codependence and standing up for ourselves since we began our recovery. As we grow in self-confidence we become less defensive when others disagree with us. We speak our truth confidently, even when others challenge us. We learn to carefully consider the views of others without automatically abandoning our own position.

We help our children learn to trust their own judgment. When we see things differently than they do, we never belittle their views or tease them about them. Instead, we encourage them to share their thoughts and explain their position. Often these conversations help them clarify their thinking and increase their self-confidence. We agree also willing to let them know when they have changed our minds.

I encourage my child to trust themselves and stand up for their point of view.